but from all - 'Did you talk to the girl?' and my usual answer - 'No. I could not'. This is the usual Q&A after i informed the world about my engagement and my wedding. I am trying to understand, WHAT IF, i do not talk at all to the girl till am knotted with her (though on the contrary, sure would never want to miss the chance... to talk to her)

... and also hear the usual statement (straight from the 'marriage' book, it seems)-' It is the BOY, who will have to take the FIRST step'. What is this all about? BOY talk first, GIRL respond next... I understand this attitude has changed (a bit), but still in this 'generation' of freshness, we still hang on to the 'OLD' habits (read 'marriage pratices') 

On one side, we 'blah-blah' about 'women empowerment', bash out big party 'celebrating' women's day... and on the other side, we still prove by these practices that our (Indian) society is very largely plagued by 'MALE' dominations! and wonderful twist to this is that, even women add to this by saying that 'Why should I call HIM? Let him call me'- I understand this statement (by them), is NOT their arrogance, but because the SOCIETY (read 'family') demands so.

next I hear is that the BOY's side will be (?) showered with presents and gifts (read again 'Marriage Practices'). Nah. It is not dowry! but it is showing the GIRL's family affection to the BOY (and his family)- so that both boy and girl can live happily together. well, in the previous generations (i.e. during those days when our women counterpart were not much involved in a work OUTSIDE home), this custom "might" have been OK. But I do not see why this custom is STILL prevailing to this century (in our country)? ... on the other side, we FIGHT against 'DOWRY'.... really not understand THE logic. Create a PROBLEM oneself and FIGHT against it, to get a SOLUTION. 

Most of the times, am wondering how am i going to adjust or even relent to these practices? What is THE choice I have with me? Though am very happy that my parents is NOT demanding anything- NOT even a gift, but am wondering how my NEW family, will be. My family is giving their son and in turn, expecting to give their daughter- no strings attached. 

only the coming days, will give me an indication, how things turn OUT to be. But in case, I need to 'REBEL' to the 'practices', sure I will. However while doing so, will keep in mind, about my family, my girl and her family. 

Whatever gifts we receive (IF AT ALL), will be diverted to THE charity. But will NOT take not even one (hope my best half, understands my action). When I started earning my own, I had softly started telling my parents- 'Please do not get me any gifts, be it for my birthday'.

I will have just ONE request from my side (to the new family)- 'Please give me your daughter. We will take care of each other. We need your prayers and blessings...'

Mar 20, 2011

yesterday around 6:30 am, my friend and myself, started off on a short ride to a dam reservoir (still do not re-collect its name!). Actually the ride was planned for Saturday. But i could confirm my participation, bcos of the gear problem with my bike. So, had to reschedule it to the next day. 

Actually, i was not planning to attend this, as some of them, backed out of this ride. But when I got a message that the ride is going as scheduled on Sunday, i thought let me not miss it. As the other guy had rescheduled it for my company.

The place that we were riding to, is next to the 'Big Banyan Tree'- which is about 24kms from Global Village.We could cover this distance, without much trouble. I was still trying to keep up with the momentum of the other guy- as my gears were not working as expected. So, in order to replicate the 'first' and the 'last' gear position, I was using my front and back of my foot palm- whenever I hit upon hill, use my back of foot, to pedal stronger. For level or downhill, use my front of foot. (well, was success to an extent)

From 'The Big Banyan Tree', we had to cover another 8kms to reach the dam. and this particular stretch was getting, a bit tougher, with ups and downs. After an hour of pedalling, reached this place. (check out some snaps)

See the full gallery on Posterous

After spending some 15-20 minutes, started back. well by this time, the sun was in all its glory. the heat was like, trying to puff us out of this earth, with its heat :) but eventually, our determination, to get back to the shades of our house, gave us the strenght to pedal back... 

so, around 11:30am, we reached Raja Rajeswari Nagar :)

It started around December 2008. I had returned back from United States, just 2 months prior. My parents thought it is the best time, to start. start what? look for a life partner.

I was also ready.. (well almost 5 years back from 2008, I was ready. But no luck!) There were no liabilities from my side or from my parent's side. The process, started with a registration with a famous matrimony site- "famous" because it claimed that it has got the highest number of finding partners (even in the limca book of records)- though in my case, it was not so. As I had set up the member profile for my profile, initially i had "total" control over what my parents viewed. I was the keeper of "password" (though shared with my parents also). But keeping track of what my parents were viewing ("parental control"???). 

During the profile creation, we will also have to upload my "horror"scope.. well... "horo"scope. It seems the system was shrewd to highlight that my horoscope got 'doshams' (that is why, I named it 'horrorscope"). not a good news.. and yes eventually it was not a good news at all... My parents visited "astrologers" (there were 3-4 or somtimes 5-6 astrologers whom my parents visited for guidance)- and one of them told that i got "dosham"- which fortunately, my parents were not initimated, when my horoscope (read FATE) was return at time of my birth. It was told to my parents that those details will be mentioned (in horoscope), ONLY when asked for.

The "dosham" in my horoscope, narrowed my circle, whom I can engage with for a relationship. Along with this "dosham", i had put in (filter) criteria for my wedding.. sorry folks, am not putting those here :-)- which eventually as "years" passed by, had to be left out! (But still, would say that some of the important filter criteria, was achieved at the end.) Looking back for the last two plus years, I remember a lot of arguments that happened between a son (that is ME..) and parents (my dad and my mom)- arguments ranged from the marriage custom, marriage practices, girls's family, girl's education, ..... I used to say to my family (and friends) that I can author a book on 'Dummies for Pre-Marriage Practices'

after 2 years of wait, numerous rejections (on both sides), eventually got a 'YES', again on both sides. (though I wanted to write more, but am disintegrated now, after losing continuity of the topic). so stop here.

"Lead India", "Jaago Re", "Shining India", "Chak De India"- well one would be too familiar with all these, isn't it? But still wondering what hit us, for the last couple of months- "black money" and "scams"!

As a citizen, should I be bothered about where the country is lead to? I will say on the face of it- 'I do not bother at all'- and will also encourage others to "mind their own business". well, should not it be so? Do you think only the 'politics' is stained... and not us, the "Aam Admni" (common man or whichever "ladder" you belong to..)

We say- 'I pay my taxes and on the other side, these politicians and bureaucrats loot us, crores of Rupees'- well, it is because you do not have THE power. let me ask you these-

- The company (or the organization you are working with) does not deduct the "income tax" component from your salary, will you care to pay the taxes?

- The Electricity department will not cut off your electricity. No fines for late payment will you care to pay the electricity bills or even on time, before the due date?

- You get continous water supply every month. Again will you pay for it?

- what about your landline or mobile connection?

- and lot other situations.....

well, how much do you think "YOU" are disciplined? You are NOT disciplined- but you fear"- disciplinary action"- income tax department may fine you or put you in jail, electricity department will cut off connection, water supply department will stop water supply and communication will be cut off...  Had you been in POWER, will you be "disciplined" enough to be ON TIME or atleast do what you are responsible for. Even if YOU are a responsible citizen, still there will be your relatives or your friends, who stick ONTO you as LEECH and try to take advantage of YOU....

so, why point the fingers at the POLITICIANS or BUREAUCATS alone? Understand that 'criticism' and 'complaining' are both different. but what you do these years, is just "complaining"- for criticism will bring a CHANGE- for the GOOD or WORSE. but complaining has never changed anything.

If you truly feel that, we should come out of this garbage, FIRST, you ACT true to YOURSELF. STOP Blaming, accusing, complaining. Yes, it might NOT be that you see the change, immediately. But CHANGE will START from YOU, atleast.

Do not expect the world around YOU to change- but YOU be THE change... and slowly, but very slowly, things around YOU, will start changing. 

Believe me, it HAPPENS.

everyday i make it a point, to look into what type of person i had been for that day. when i say everyday, there is no specific timing. this can be when am at office, or when biking from office, may be during the small walk at lunch hours or at home. over a day (day here can mean forenoon, afternoon, evening and night time), i have different shades of personality. Ranges from being moody, frustrated, cheerful, full of energy and at times, lost! and the most prominent among all these shades- is the "frustration". eventually, depending on my "frustration", other shades come out.

sometimes am really amazed at how much i complain about almost "everything"! from my clothing style, hair style, eating habits, my work culture, how others behave, about this country, etc etc., got a longer list. These much complaints... This is because almost all my life, i look through "my eyes"... Whatever happens, I look at how it affects me, positively or negatively. When I say positively, it means, "I-not-care" attitude and negatively, when I feel, "am-not-good" feel factor- whichever way, one looks, both does not make me a better human :)

At times, very rarely, peek outside my world- get into the other's shoes... and that gives me a very very different picture, about LIFE. As mentioned, i have never been satisfied in my life- I will not take this as "ambitious" or "greedy", but a way of feeling, helpless. So, when I look to others, i see that whatever I have with me, they do not have those. Either they complain about that or mind about their own business, living one day at a time. When I was at a bus stand, waiting for my bus (had to wait 3-4 hours), I observed different people- epecially, hawkers, or people selling tea, children selling toys, cobbler waiting for shoes and even people begging for alms... That kept me asking myself- I talk everyday about MY LIFE, being incomplete. When I say "incomplete", I certainly mean, "without purpose". again when I say "purpose", I go for "fame, power, admiration, charity". My world has become so "filled-with-expectations" that I feel, at 30 years of age, my LIFE is a waste!

But as mentioned- the above is when I look at my world, through my eyes. Coming back to the bus stand, the situation there, gave me a very different picture. I was left wondering like, what those folks, are looking forward to? though I did not ask them for an answer, but it will be, "to survive for the day", with atleast one meals! and I was asking myself- "what am I complaining about?" or is that justifiable?

well, these are momentary thoughts, that pass through me- but I forgot it as sooner as i catch up my with MY LIFE again... so, here again, i have not stopped complaining.... this, that, them, him, her, those.... 

i hope, at one time, i will stop complaining, atleast for a day!

From the day I started earning my own bucks, I made it sure that a part of the money, is contributed in some way or the other, towards the less fortunate sections of the society. When I was working as a lecturer in college, used to be part of NSS team, playing a small role, as an"Assistant Coordinator" (well  I created that role for myself!)... As soon as I got a job in IT industry, started contributing "financially" as well towards the charity organization, set up in the organization. Initially started with 1K, and over the 5 years period with that organization, increased the contribution, from 1k, 2K, 3K, 4K and eventually 5K. 

Though my act of "contributing" was questioned, at all times- especially because they were concerned that the amount contributed, may not reach the needy people. But still I believed in what I was doing- because I believed in the people, who were handling this resposibility. Also in between, I used to contribute upto 10K, for a TRUST, which 'was' personally looked after by my good friend. But over the time, with personal life taking over my friend's life, this TRUST lost its steam.

am not quoting all this, to give out my "figures" of contribution. But to state a different picture. In the present organization am working with, a separate foundation is present that looks after technology demands for making life better for the "differently"-abled persons. For this, fund is needed as well. So a strategy was rolled out for collecting funds from the employee on a "voluntary" basis. We can submit a form, specifying the "monetary" contribution options- that can be - some X days pay or a fixed pay over a period. I opted for the 'fixed' pay over a period of 6 months. After submitting the option, a thought came across. did I give more than what was reasonable within my "quota"? I was worried so much that I send out a mail to the gentleman, who maintains this account. 

and for the entire time, until the next day, my thought was 'pendulum"-ing between this and that. should I have done this? or is that ok? bcos till this year, looking at wholesum, i would have contributed more than a lac (am not counting it.. but here I needed to)- and I was brooding about the "contribution" which per month, will come 24k (over 6 months period)- eventually leading me to the same amount that i have contributed so far......

well.. yesterday I knew that I was NOT doing the "charity" out of "selfless" service- but the act came with "strings" attached.... I was thinking that how much am attached to the "insecurity" of life...

really funny! am not just there, yet.

March 13, 2011 was a day of good feeling. yesterday completed my first 100kms biking (aka cycling) along with 10km marathon run. Though the former was for my own enthusiasm, the latter one, involved running for a charity, organized by "Contours International". I had to do the 100 kms biking to reach the venue for the marathon event, which was nearer to the Bengaluru International Airport.

The day started with me jumpstarting from my house, around 3:30 am. as I proceeded through the streets/roads of b'lore, I was confronted with dogs, on the way. well, at times it was very scary, with the dogs chasing you with all those "bow-bow"s. At times, I also had to bark back or stare back at them, to scare them way. Thank that the dog did not know that I was as scared as the dog was :)

I pedalled and pedalled, going through the Tumkur Express Highway, then on to Yeswantapur, eventually onto the straight road, NH7, passing through Hebbal, Yelanka, to reach the venue @ 6:15 am. 

At 8am, the marathon run started. I could complete the 10kms run clocking 1 hr 10 minutes, 4 minutes more than my previous best. After relaxing for half an hour, started the journey back. Unless the early morning hours, when the weather was still cool (and practically not disturbing traffic or signals), now I was riding through a very busy traffic.. and with the sun shining high and bright! At Hebbal, I missed my route. spent close to 45 minutes circling around, trying to meet my road.

In the mean time, I felt like my saddle is having some problem. and thank that I figured it out. The saddle was twisting under my bum's pressure (also I had previously raised it to the maximum). luckily could get that rectified at a cycle repair shop. After this, started pedalling forward... it was no stopping until I reached my house- around 2:00 pm :)

after the day's ride, had a wonderful sleep :)